The Traditional Czech Christmas

So, some of you all may be wondering, just what does Christmas look like here in Czech Republic? Do they know about Santa Claus? Do they even celebrate Christmas since they are all atheists? Do they have Christmas trees? All I have to say is... "Hey, c'mon now, I'm not living on Mars." Yes, they celebrate Christmas. It's even one of the most, or the most celebrated holiday in Czech Republic. They freakin blow the top of of life for this holiday. But what do they do?

I have heard that in America, with all the crazy liberals and the political correctness, that there is a big battle for getting Christmas taken out and substituted for Holiday. Now, I don't know if this is true, but considering America is a very Christian country, how do you think Czech Republic (a very very atheistic country) celebrates this holiday? That's right, for one of the most atheistic countries in the world, it's only proper that they give all the respect due to Jesus as possible. In this atheistic country, Jesus is the center and foundation of Christmas. People, of course, know about Santa Claus here from all the American ads and movies. (They say Santa loves Coke). But, Santa doesn't seem to make it to all areas of the world, like we so have thought all of our childhood. But, apparently, Santa has a helper. And who else to assist Santa but Jesus himself. That's right, Jesus sneaks into the houses at dinnertime and leaves presents under the Christmas tree (which they have, but they don't decorate it until Christmas Eve. It's some tradition). But it's no ordinary Jesus, but it's a little baby Jesus. Now, there is controversy whether it is the baby Jesus or just a very small midget Jesus because no one has ever seen him, and there are no pictures of this little Jesus for us to conspire over. But it's none other than Jesus himself, who sneaks into all the apartments through the window, and when he leaves, he always rings a bell to let the children know he was just there. Seriously, how christian can these atheists get?

And of course this holiday celebrated by atheists wouldn't be complete without a day of fasting, now would it. Yes, the tradition is that everyone will fast on Christmas Eve (they celebrate xmas on Christmas Eve, not Christmas Day) and finally eat when the traditional Christmas meal is ready. The traditional meal consists of carp (yes, carp, you know the fish), potatoe salad, and fish soup, and of course beer. They say that if you don't eat anything all day, then when it is time to eat dinner, then you will see "the Golden Pig". I think by this time I might be seeing things stranger than a golden pig. What else, what else...?

Oh goodness, what else. Everyone seems to go overboard on making these very intricate and detailed sweet, or little cookies, that are very devoutly delicious. There's also a bunch of little nonsensical tradtions that no one really practices, but these are the most important ones.