The Busy Amorous Lifestyle
A sthings have progressed over the past few months, I have realized that my life is quite busy and almost too busy for myself sometimes, until I have just had enough and I have to tell myself, "Hey, slow the heck down dude". Life wasn't meant to be like this. So then what was life meant to be like then? That seems to be the million dollar question at the moment. And believe me, if I knew the answer, I'd relay it to my dear readers as soon as possible. I haven't managed to write about anything on my blog for a while now and it's true, maybe a few interesting things worth mentioning have happened, but I just haven't been able to bring myself to taking the time, cuz i've felt like i haven't had the time, but now that i'm here, i just want to write to someone, maybe i'm really writing to myself, so...
Dear Diary,
Billy has been bullying me again and I just can't stand it. I still have a crush on little Susie from across the street. I'm flunking Math class but I just got this sweet new Nintendo game, so I'm happy...
Ok, maybe not, but as you can see, I really don't know what to write about. There's all sorts of things that i've been storing up in my brain to share with you all. But maybe i've stored it up so much that it's at the back of my brain maybe covered up by my dirty clothes or something of the sort. Right now, at school I feel like I have endless amounts of homework to correct and give back, like seriously, it's a crapload, but then, also I'm trying to get it done by the end of the week because the end of the week I have to have grades in because they have the mid-term grades that are due so the parents can see them when they come for the parent-teacher confrerences and therefore, I need to get the grades all settled, but I look at my gradebook and I see that I barely have anything!!!! What the freak! How is it possible. Cuz I feel like I've been doing so much with my students that I think I should have about 10 grades for each class, but it ain't true. And now I've come to the point that I'm gonna just finish what I've got here and then I'm never gonna give homework ever again. Because I don't know, I feel just so crazy. My class schedule is so intense this year and I feel like it's just more than I can handle. I teach about 5 or 6 more hours this year, but in one less day. This has taken an extreme load on me and I really regret that I have taken it, but I have to keep my end of the bargain, so hopefully this will be a growing experience. But you can count on it that there's no way that I will agree to something like this next year, that is if I end up staying.
I don't know, something about teaching is really getting to me. I really enjoy it, and it's fun and all, but the thing that even when i go home and on the weekends I have something to do is starting to bother me. If I want, there is always someething that I could be doing, and this is something that bothers me a bit. Life wasn't meant to be so busy. As long as I have money and am willing to make a few sacrifices here and there, then things should be fairly satisfying. I like having free evenings to do anything I want. I enjoy leaving my work at work. When I start to have a family, I don't want to have to leave them in the evening to lesson plan or soemthing of the sort. I'd like to do what I do and then go home. Although also I'd like to make a difference. Desk work isn't for me, but I just don't know what there is out there for me. It's funny, cuz here in Kralupy, my students are always stressing about which college they want to go to because they don't know what they want to do when they grow up. But the funny thing is that I've gone through college and been done for two and a half years and I still don't know what I want to do. I'm as lost as I've ever been. Things always work out as they should, so I'm not so much worried about that, but don't think that it doesn't cross my mind every now and then. I mean... my future does seem a little wide open for anything at the moment. So I guess that's kinda cool because I think that really I could do ANYTHIN but then again, right now it just seems like my life is at a deadend, a cul-de-sac if you will. But one thing that I've always got to have is faith, faith that God will bring me through these troubled times and that what I seek is the only thing that matters, and what I seek is what God has in store for me. So I shall patiently, or rather impatiently, wait for what He has up His sleeves and in the meantime I shall try and make as much of an impact as possible here.
It's really cool here and I love everyone. I've made about a million friends and I oculdn't have asked for a better place to have been placed by my organization. But sure, part of me is waiting and wanting to grasp at the next step that is waiting for me. I don't know if I'm quite ready. There's still quite a few things that I'm waiting to come to full term here (I'lll imform you as it happens), but I feel like my time here is at least "over the hump, or hill", so take that as you may. I know I don't usually rant on like this, but this was one of those necessary times when I'm not writing about things over here, yet just ME over here. Hope things are good with you all and keep me in you prayers.
Dear Diary,
Billy has been bullying me again and I just can't stand it. I still have a crush on little Susie from across the street. I'm flunking Math class but I just got this sweet new Nintendo game, so I'm happy...
Ok, maybe not, but as you can see, I really don't know what to write about. There's all sorts of things that i've been storing up in my brain to share with you all. But maybe i've stored it up so much that it's at the back of my brain maybe covered up by my dirty clothes or something of the sort. Right now, at school I feel like I have endless amounts of homework to correct and give back, like seriously, it's a crapload, but then, also I'm trying to get it done by the end of the week because the end of the week I have to have grades in because they have the mid-term grades that are due so the parents can see them when they come for the parent-teacher confrerences and therefore, I need to get the grades all settled, but I look at my gradebook and I see that I barely have anything!!!! What the freak! How is it possible. Cuz I feel like I've been doing so much with my students that I think I should have about 10 grades for each class, but it ain't true. And now I've come to the point that I'm gonna just finish what I've got here and then I'm never gonna give homework ever again. Because I don't know, I feel just so crazy. My class schedule is so intense this year and I feel like it's just more than I can handle. I teach about 5 or 6 more hours this year, but in one less day. This has taken an extreme load on me and I really regret that I have taken it, but I have to keep my end of the bargain, so hopefully this will be a growing experience. But you can count on it that there's no way that I will agree to something like this next year, that is if I end up staying.
I don't know, something about teaching is really getting to me. I really enjoy it, and it's fun and all, but the thing that even when i go home and on the weekends I have something to do is starting to bother me. If I want, there is always someething that I could be doing, and this is something that bothers me a bit. Life wasn't meant to be so busy. As long as I have money and am willing to make a few sacrifices here and there, then things should be fairly satisfying. I like having free evenings to do anything I want. I enjoy leaving my work at work. When I start to have a family, I don't want to have to leave them in the evening to lesson plan or soemthing of the sort. I'd like to do what I do and then go home. Although also I'd like to make a difference. Desk work isn't for me, but I just don't know what there is out there for me. It's funny, cuz here in Kralupy, my students are always stressing about which college they want to go to because they don't know what they want to do when they grow up. But the funny thing is that I've gone through college and been done for two and a half years and I still don't know what I want to do. I'm as lost as I've ever been. Things always work out as they should, so I'm not so much worried about that, but don't think that it doesn't cross my mind every now and then. I mean... my future does seem a little wide open for anything at the moment. So I guess that's kinda cool because I think that really I could do ANYTHIN but then again, right now it just seems like my life is at a deadend, a cul-de-sac if you will. But one thing that I've always got to have is faith, faith that God will bring me through these troubled times and that what I seek is the only thing that matters, and what I seek is what God has in store for me. So I shall patiently, or rather impatiently, wait for what He has up His sleeves and in the meantime I shall try and make as much of an impact as possible here.
It's really cool here and I love everyone. I've made about a million friends and I oculdn't have asked for a better place to have been placed by my organization. But sure, part of me is waiting and wanting to grasp at the next step that is waiting for me. I don't know if I'm quite ready. There's still quite a few things that I'm waiting to come to full term here (I'lll imform you as it happens), but I feel like my time here is at least "over the hump, or hill", so take that as you may. I know I don't usually rant on like this, but this was one of those necessary times when I'm not writing about things over here, yet just ME over here. Hope things are good with you all and keep me in you prayers.
posted by Zach Barnes at 1:33 PM
1 Comments:
The posts about YOU over here are the ones I live for ;)
(Just found it weird such a great post had no comment. So here it goes :)
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